Everything Happens For Me, Not To Me!

This quote is courtesy of Byron Katie,  author of a book called Loving What Is. Friends tell me that the book is phenomenal. I have it and will start it this weekend.

For those of you who followed this blog up to July 2009 I appreciate your enthusiasm for the posts. The summer of  ’09 was emotional after our daughter gave birth to a 1 pound 15 oz. boy. Long story short is Jackson will be one year old in a few weeks and is now tipping the scales at close to 20 lbs! That my friends is really cool! He is healthy and one of the most engaging babies I have ever seen. Thanks for all your support and prayers in the last year.

I am changing the focus a bit for Total Sales Manager. I will touch on sales and sales management but will widen topic matter to include posts on other subjects. I’m not here to rile people up but I will speak my mind. If you find these posts interesting pass the site along to your network. (Hey, I could use the book sales!)

How many times have you heard people (and in particular salespeople) say, “Why does this stuff always happen to me?” I’ve said it before and I’d bet most of you have as well. When I read the above quote by Byron Katie it stopped me cold. As soon as you think that things happen to you, the focus is on the negative. It implies the “woe is me” chant. “How can I succeed in life when bad things always seem to hound me.”

The “To Me” mindset is dangerous because it sets in motion other thoughts and ultimately actions that inhibit success. Another phrase related to this is the one where someone says “I’m just waiting for the other shoe to fall.” Not many good things will happen while waiting for the 13 EEE to descend.

When something happens “For Me” the whole mental scene changes. The word “To” implies disaster,  “For” implies value, as in I can use this event as a positive force in my life. The word empowering is bandied about a bit too much but it truly does nail the “For Me” side of events. A good friend of mine once said to me “I don’t know why this (an event happening in her life) is happening but I know there is a reason.” I love that attitude because it exemplifies the meaning of “For Me”.

Here’s an interesting exercise. Think back to an event in your life that you felt happened “to you”. What was the outcome? How did the outcome affect your behavior? Did you change your approach to anything? What did you learn about how you do business, treat people, sell etc?

And finally. Doesn’t this quote by Katie set you free to do uncomfortable behaviors?

Always take some action. Do something!


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